Nancy Soderberg.
That name deserves to be the first thing in my first post because none of this happens if not for her.
As I think back on my journey it is hard to sum up the major points that lead to this point, because they were all pivotal. Even the seemingly meaningless micro-choices ended up being huge. Jobs I took or didn't, conversations I had on a whim, advice I listened to, failures –the failures ended up being SO important– all on them stack on each other like the most fragile of Jenga tower lifting me towards the sky. But one thing I know: Nancy was the final piece on that tower.
Before I get into this story, you should know who she is. Her accomplishments could fill the page and then some, but here are some highlights: President, the Connect U.S. Fund; President and CEO, Soderberg Solutions; Vice President for Multilateral Affairs, International Crisis Group; Adjunct Professor at Columbia University; Alternate Representative to the United Nations, Presidential Appointee with rank of Ambassador;Deputy Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs. It goes on and on, but you get the idea. (The full resume is here.) When this lady talks, you listen.
The first time I heard her name it was in the mouth of Professor Paul Harwood in the summer of 2010. I was taking his Terrorism Today class that summer. I had the time off it take that class because my daughter, Lyra, was born at the same time that the summer session started. Fortunately, I was working for a very progressive company, American Express, that allowed the fathers time off just like the mothers. So I had six weeks (yes six!) of paid leave to be with my family. Take a moment to consider that fortunate convergence of events and how perfect the timing was...
That terrorism class was my first taste of studying something that really piqued my interests since returning to school the previous fall after a 6 year hiatus. I truly looked forward to each class and each assignment, and it showed in my final grade. So, after the end of the semester I went to Dr. Harwood for advice as to how to continue working in these issues post-graduation. He said "Find Nancy Soderberg. She can help you". I signed up for her class for the upcoming fall at the first opportunity.
Day one of that class I was in the front row in the center seat. She was going to know who I was. I wasn't leaving anything to chance. Now anyone who has ever taken one of Nancy's classes can tell you that her favorite point to harp on students about is obtaining internships. She preaches it like her life depends on it. The first time I sat through her famed "you must get an internship!" lecture I already had a shield of well-sounding, and legitimate, excuses. "I work", "I have to provide for a family", "I'm too old", "I just want to get a degree, I don't need internships". But in private conversation she would bat each of these excuses away as if they weren't even worth considering. So, reluctantly, I made a half-hearted attempt at obtaining one. I found a few that looked interesting, but since I had dragged my feet, I had missed the filing deadline for most of them. And the ones I was on-time for, I was hearing nothing back. I told Nancy that I had applied to intern in U.S. Senator Bill Nelson's Jacksonville office. She said "Here is the email for Michelle, the Regional Director. Tell her I sent you". I did as I was told and the day after the email was sent I had an interview. The day after that, I had the job. So, in two days I went from nothing to Senate intern, all because of one email.
Maybe this Soderberg knows what she's talking about, I tell myself.
So, after that summer I have a really impressive bullet point on my resume and not one, but two really impressive individuals to recommend me for future positions: Ambassador to the UN and Regional Director in the Senate. Prospects are looking up...
Nancy wasn't done prodding me once I got to the Senate. That summer she says to me "You should go to grad school in DC. Either American or Georgetown". I laughed at her. How was I going to pay for that, I asked her. I had a family. I can't pull that off, that ship has sailed. All I wanted to do was get a nice little job after graduation that I could feed my family with. That was all I wanted to accomplish. Honestly, at this point I still had no vision as to what was possible for me beyond that. But the one thing I had committed myself to was to listening to everything she told me regardless of how crazy it sounded. So I prepared grad school application knowing that I'd never get in, but I put everything I had into them.
My GRE scores ended up being really good, my recommendations were solid and my last two years in school were phenomenal, I was one of the top students in the university for that time. But from where I was sitting, none of that seemed good enough to me. I have an inferiority complex of sorts when it comes to my resume. I can always imagine the hordes of 22 year-olds with better looking scores and accomplishments. But to my shock, I was accepted into some of the top schools and decided to attend American.
After talking it over with my wife, we decided deferring admission for a year would be the best way to proceed. We wanted to have another baby and this would give us time to do that while getting our act together for the big move. My main goal for that year off was to find funding for school. I knew getting through grad school would be really hard to do, and finding free money was going to be key to my success. So I began the process of turning over every rock I could looking for money. During the process of my applying to grad schools I noticed a question on the Georgetown form that stuck with me: "Are you a Pickering Fellow?" I had to check "no" on the form, but I remember feeling like a "yes" in that box would have improved my chances immensely. So, I made a point of looking up what it was, and the opportunity was jaw dropping: They'd pay for both years of grad school, give you professional development through internships for 2 summers, and if that wasn't enough, they'd give you a job in the U.S. Foreign Service upon graduation! Could this be possible for me? Not a chance, I thought. There is no way I'll be competitive for that. Every smart international relations student in the country is going to apply for that, I thought, and I bet most of them didn't drop out of undergrad and wander the earth for 6 years. But despite my doubts, I applied. My philosophy is: you have to be the one to turn me down. I'm not going to reject myself by not asking the question." As Wayne Gretzky famously once said, "you miss every shot you don't take." I also applied for Pickering's sister program, the Charles Rangel Fellowship, which provides almost the identical opportunity. Applications were due in January, results wouldn't come until the spring, so I waited....
As winter turned to Spring, the results started coming in. And it turned out that every opportunity that I applied to I was rejected from.... everything except one. The Pickering Fellowship said I had made the finals. That meant that 40 people were invited to DC for interviews and 20 of them would get the fellowship. I can't describe this moment to you adequately enough. I was so excited, because I knew that I had already won. There was no way they had 20 kids they were going to like better than me. They had looked at my credentials and decided I was interesting enough to meet without ever being in a room with me. I am at my weakest on paper, once I get into a room with you, I shine. So, I knew that if my paper was good enough, the deal was done. I still had much work to do, however. I contacted AU and asked if they knew anyone who could help me prepare. They put me in touch with the angelic Mary Jo Pham who became my life coach for a few weeks. With her help, I was unstoppable. About 10 minutes into my Pickering interview, I knew I had won. It was a moment I had prepared my whole life for. I crushed it. Three days later I got the official notification that I was selected, and my life has not been the same since.
Since that email came notifying me that I won, we had a baby, we moved 800 miles 6 weeks after that, and then started grad school 2 weeks after that. We had many storms throughout the next two years, a couple rocked us to our core, but we survived them all. As I write this, I am sitting in Hong Kong with a Masters Degree from American University. I will be here for the next 10 weeks working in our consulate here in the Public Affairs section. I will then start my Foreign Service career in September. I constantly wonder how all this has happened for me. I am not worthy of the things I've been given. I know people who work harder and have had much less success. My great fear is that I am going to wake up one day and find that it is 2012 and I've dreamt this whole adventure. I don't know what it was in my application that got the Pickering team excited about me, but I know that whatever it was, Nancy Soderberg had a lot to do with it.
I owe so many people so much for where I've ended up. My Mom, my grand parents, my friends, my mentors, my wife and even my kids... but the cherry on top was Nancy. She was the key that unlocked the door to this new world, so I dedicate this post and the ones that follow to her. Cheers to you, Nancy. We owe you everything...
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